Just Listen
by SKINNYxLOVE
Summary: It is Draco Malfoy's final year at Hogwarts. He'll spend it being hated and feared. The Dark Lord has risen and the war is getting worse. Draco thinks he's in over his head. But there's only one person who'll listen to him. One person that shouldn't. R&R.
1. Year Seven: The Beginning

**Author's Note**: First attempt with this couple. –crosses fingers- Any feedback is highly appreciated. This is also for The Fourth Black Sister's "25 Character Challenge" challenge on HPFFC. I picked #8, which happened to be Draco Malfoy. I would like to give a HUGE thanks to Az (Inkfire) for listening to my insecurities and offering to beta this for me. She doesn't know how much I appreciate that offer. (And you should all go check out her story "Into The Dark". xD )

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing in the world of Harry Potter, save for a Bellatrix t-shirt. xD I also don't own anything in Sarah Dessen-land, except copies of her books. When I saw the quote from her book, I instantly thought of Draco & Astoria. I am in no way stealing her book or ideas. The quote merely inspired me.

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**Just Listen**_  
[A fanfiction by Mesteria]_

"_Don't think or judge… just listen."  
- Just Listen by Sarah Dessen

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**Chapter One: Year Seven: The Beginning**

"Draco," she whispered, placing a hand on his chest. She pushed her hand into his chest, and then he felt her lips brush against his. "Wake up, love."

Draco Malfoy's eyes fluttered open and he found himself staring back into the brown eyes of his girlfriend Pansy Parkinson. Her hand was still pressed into his chest, while her other was on the bed, supporting herself. She flashed him a quick smile and then brought her lips against his once again.

"Pansy," Draco muttered, attempting to sit up.

She moved away from him to allow him room. She stood at the edge of his bed, smiling down at him. He sighed and leaned back against the headboard, staring up at his girlfriend. "What's going on?" he asked quietly, not sure what the time was, but knowing that he didn't want to wake up the other boys in his dorm if it were late (or early.)

Pansy smirked. "It's time for class, silly," she said. Then she yawned and stretched her hands above her head. Her shirt rose and he found it hard to resist catching a glimpse of her midriff, if only to see a little of the snake tattoo she'd gotten over the summer. "Unless you're too tired… I could do with some more sleep." She dropped her arms to her side, her shirt wrinkled up a tad.

He leaned forward to pull her shirt down, tracing his fingers along the top of her skirt. She shivered slightly and he smirked to himself. He lifted his gaze back up to meet hers. "I wish," he mumbled. "The professors will go mental."

She giggled and then took a seat on the edge of the bed next to him. She wrapped her arms around his neck, her thumbs playing with his hair. "At least we have tonight to look forward to," she murmured in a low voice.

Draco smirked again. Then he ducked his head into her for another kiss. Every year, the seventh years of Slytherin house threw a party after the first day of classes. All of the other years in the house were invited, except first. "I can't wait," he replied just as lowly.

Pansy gave a throaty chuckle and pushed her face against his so their lips were locked. Their lips worked together, Pansy pushed into him a little bit. She slid her tongue into his mouth, which he hated. He pulled away from her with a look of disgust.

"Merlin, Pansy," he snapped, placing his hands on her shoulders and giving her a shove. "I hate when you do that."

She looked hurt as she stood up from his bed and stared down at him. It sometimes annoyed him that she needed him so much; she was more of a dead weight than anything. But, still, they'd been together since third year after a hippogriff attacked him, so that it would almost be pointless breaking up with her now. He was probably going to marry her. She'd always love him more than he could love her. He didn't think he could ever love her. Sometimes he thought he couldn't love at all.

"I'm sorry," she said, looking down at her hands.

"Whatever."

Draco threw back the covers and hopped out of bed. He walked to the end of his bed and grabbed his school clothes. Pansy watched his every move; he could feel it. He looked up at her, but she looked away, pretending to examine her cuticles.

He approached her gently and saw her freeze. He kissed her head. "I'll meet you for breakfast." She nodded and he slipped out of the curtain.

The first day of classes was just as dull as the previous years. Draco scuttled through the various floors and the various classrooms. But things were different this year. The Dark Lord had overthrown the Ministry during the summer and had placed two Death Eaters, the Carrows, as professors at the school. Professor Snape had been promoted to Headmaster, while Professor McGonagall remained as Headmistress.

The student body seemed frightened of Draco, especially the first years. If they saw him in the hall, they would duck their heads and scurry by or turn in the opposite direction, fleeing. He wasn't sure exactly how they'd found out _what_ he was (it seemed as though they tried to see his Mark through his sleeve; or maybe he was just paranoid), let alone _who_ he was. Sure, he liked to be known, but it was awfully quick that they'd figured him out.

By the end of the school day, he was looking forward to the party that night. After the summer he'd had and this first, tense day of classes, he wished nothing more than to do a few shots of firewhiskey.

"This feels good," Pansy hollered beside him, grabbing his hand. Loud music played around them, students drank and mingled and lights flashed. They had cast a silencing charm around the common room and an additional one around the first years' dorms so they wouldn't be disturbed.

Draco looked down at his girlfriend and forced a smile. "You're just realizing that now?" he teased.

Pansy laughed and gently swatted his shoulder with her free hand. "No!" she said, still laughing. "I mean being seventh years… it feels great! It feels right. I'm so excited that it's finally come – we've made it this far!" She grinned.

He couldn't help but laugh with her, maybe catching a little bit of her excitement. It would be their last year here, suffocating in this castle and under prudent rules. Just one year and they'd be free. Hopefully by then, the Dark Lord would have risen to his highest power and have complete control over the wizarding world of Britain.

Draco bent down to kiss Pansy in celebration. When he felt her smile into their kiss, his stomach sank. But he quickly shoved any thoughts of guilt out of his mind. When they pulled apart, Pansy gave his hand a squeeze and then ran off to grab them some drinks.

He walked slowly through the crowded room, smirking at the couples that were trying to shag (already drunk) in dark corners or the ones that were snogging in the middle of the room. He stepped over their legs with a roll of his eyes; some people had no decency. When he looked back up, he stopped short, his breath caught in his throat. Directly across from him, standing awkwardly against a wall, was the most stunning creature he had ever laid eyes on. She was pale, like him, and she had golden hair like his mother. Her hair was curly, though, and half of it was pinned up. And even at this distance, he could make out her eyes: a piercing blue… so sharp… so bright.

He wasn't sure who this girl was. She must have been a first year if he didn't already know her. Then his eyes slid down her body to the small, perky mounds that signaled to him she was not a first year; then they slipped further, to the curve of her hips and down her long, shiny legs before rising again to look at her face.

"Draco."

She looked at him and shifted on her feet.

"Draco."

But it wasn't her voice that spoke. It was Pansy. Draco groaned inwardly and then turned to face his girlfriend of four years with a smile.

Pansy handed him his drink and returned her boyfriend's smile. He took a sip of the drink (some cheap wizard beer, at which he made a face) and then looked around the room some more. He brought his eyes back to where the girl had been standing, but she wasn't there any longer. He almost panicked; he wanted to see her again. He felt oddly attracted to her. But then he remembered that Pansy was by his side. So he continued to take in the scene around them. He took several more sips of beer and waved Pansy off when she begged him to dance.

Then he spotted the girl again. She was standing off to the side of a group, holding a beer in her hand. Her jaw was set and she kept glancing over at someone Draco couldn't see.

"Hey," he called to Pansy, bringing his face down to her height. He pointed to the girl with the hand that held his beer. "Who's that?" He straightened and looked down at his girlfriend.

Pansy gaped up at him. "You're serious?" she asked, looking shocked.

Draco narrowed his eyes. Was she asking because she knew that he was attracted to the girl? Or was it something else? He weighed his options – to react defensively at Pansy's insulting question (which might give away that he was attracted to this girl, if Pansy already didn't know) or just answer her. He decided to simply answer her, thinking it was the lesser of two evils. "Yes," he said tightly. "I wouldn't be asking if I knew the answer, would I?"

Pansy laughed. "That's Astoria," she said matter-of-factly. He narrowed his eyes at her once more. She looked shocked once more and gave a small shake of her head, in disbelief most likely. "Greengrass. Astoria Greengrass—"

"Daphne has a sister?" Draco questioned further.

"Draco." Pansy's voice was demanding, serious and quite insulting as well. He didn't like it when she spoke to him like that, like she was better than him. Sometimes he had the urge to hit her, as he knew many pureblooded wizards did, beating their wives or giving them a slap every once in a while to keep them in their place. But he'd learned long ago to respect women – by his father, no less, which had been quite surprising. His father was a tough. In fact, if there was any physical abuse, it was his mother who slapped his father across the face (though it was never all that serious because he would hear them later on, making up, after forgetting to place a silencing charm around their room.)

"What?" he snapped, trying to hide his embarrassment.

"She grew up with us. Do you honestly not remember her?" Pansy went on. "She attended all the same cotillions and balls and parties that we did. You really don't remember her?"

"Merlin! Will you stop asking me that?" he shouted. It was a little too loudly because the students near them turned to look. Draco looked away, avoiding the pained expression on Pansy's face.

"I'm sorry," she mumbled. It was the most common thing she said to him. He wondered why she put up with him.

He worked his jaw, staring at the floor. He cleared his mind before looking back up at her. Then he grabbed her wrist roughly. "Come on," he demanded. He led her off in the direction of his dorm, looking back at Astoria Greengrass one last time. A quick flash of two sleeping kids raced through his mind. He shook his head, clearing the memory away.

That night, he let her take her frustration out on him. Usually he was the one moving roughly above her, his Dark Mark mocking him. But not that night….

She climbed atop him willingly, smirking. He hated it when she knew she was in control. She remained still for a while, staring down at him. He reached up to trace the large snake tattoo with his fingers; it wrapped around from her right shoulder (the tip of the tail), over her right hip and then ended right above her heat. The snake's tongue stuck out, parted over the beginning of her own slit.

She'd been rough with him, but part of him couldn't deny the fact that he liked it when she was on top. If there was one thing that told him to stay with her, it was the sex. Sometimes he felt guilty thinking that, but most of the time, he didn't really care. Pansy would always be the one to care more.

After they'd finished, Pansy had cuddled up to his side, holding onto him for dear life. She really was far too needy. He tried to need her that way – he tried to _want_ her that way – but he could never pull it off. He'd back away (physically or emotionally) after only a matter of minutes. But he let her sleep next to him, clinging to his body. He let her have her dreams; he didn't dare disturb them.

When they woke up the following morning, Pansy looked up at him happily. He smiled and she lifted her head to kiss him tenderly.

"I love you," she whispered, closing her eyes. It wasn't the first time she'd told him that. And he always reciprocated, even though he had to force himself and it made him feel awkward.

"I love you, too," he lied.

They hopped out of bed and dressed quickly, after realizing that they didn't have time to take a shower. Pansy then scurried off to her own dorm to dress in her uniform and school robes. Draco waited for her and then they headed down to the common room together. When they entered the room, they spotted Astoria Greengrass sitting on one of the leather couches, rubbing a stone between her fingers. She stopped when she saw them and stood up awkwardly.

"Hey, Astoria," Pansy greeted her easily, breaking away from Draco and heading over to the younger girl. Draco swallowed, again stunned by this girl's beauty, and followed behind his girlfriend slowly. "Is everything alright?"

Astoria looked nervously over at Draco, though he was sure it was unintentional. Then she looked back at Pansy and she began to rub the stone again. He silently urged her to speak; he longed to hear her voice.

"Daphne's really sick," she said quietly. Draco stared intently at her; her voice was beautiful. It was light and gentle, but she didn't sound airy or daft; in fact, that type of voice suited her. It somehow made her seem more intelligent than anyone Draco knew.

Pansy snorted. "You mean, hung-over," she corrected.

The other girl's fingers stopped rubbing the stone and she stared sharply at Pansy. She looked angry for a while, her jaw set. Pansy stopped laughing and offered her an apologetic smile. Draco stood behind them, trying not to seem awkward. He couldn't take his eyes off of her; she was absolutely beautiful…

"Hung-over, sick… whatever," Astoria finally said, glancing up at Draco. He noticed heat rising into her cheeks and he almost smirked, but he looked away instead. Merlin, what was wrong with him? "I just don't know what to do… it's only the second day of classes; she can't be missing classes _this_ early."

Next to Draco, Pansy shrugged. "Let her figure it out on her own."

Astoria bristled. She narrowed her pretty blue eyes (_so pretty_) and ran her tongue between her lips. Draco couldn't help but imagine himself tongue wrestling with her. "She's my sister," she said defensively. "I won't just leave her to the dogs!"

Pansy looked down, obviously ashamed. Draco stepped forward and Astoria looked up at him, her gaze challenging. "Don't mind Pansy," Draco said. "She tends to speak before she thinks and doesn't realize that other people might have feelings." He thought he saw a smile tug on the corners of her lips, but she managed to suppress it down. She looked back at Pansy and he did, too.

Pansy gave him a dirty look. Then she smirked and looked back at Astoria. "Hey, you know Draco, right?" she asked. "Because he was just telling me that he wasn't sure— Ow!" Before she could finish, Draco slipped his hand to her bottom and pinched it to keep her quiet. His girlfriend leapt forward, away from him and turned to face him with a glare.

"You weren't sure what?" Astoria asked curiously, peering up at him and ignoring Pansy's outburst completely.

Draco swallowed. She looked so sexy, with her lips parted ever so slightly, her question lingering in the air between them. He wondered what she tasted like, how smooth her lips would feel. _Snap out of it._ "I wasn't sure," he began slowly, telling himself to think faster. "I wasn't sure if… if you knew me. I remember you from all those years ago and I know I haven't spoken to you much since you've been here, but that was because I wasn't sure if you knew me… remembered me," he corrected. He then mentally kicked himself for babbling.

Astoria smiled. Then she nodded. "Of course I remember you, Draco Malfoy," she said. He was positive that she was flirting with him. Chills skipped down his spine and he did his best to control his reaction. "How could I forget?"

He was about to reply when the door to the common room burst open. All three students looked over at the door to see Daphne Greengrass sauntering into the common room, looking awfully pale. Astoria gasped lightly and rushed over to her sister. She grabbed her by the shoulders and stood her upright. They spoke in hushed voices.

"Come on, Draco," Pansy said quietly, tugging on his arm. "We shouldn't get caught skipping classes already."


	2. Definitely, Maybe, Not

**Author's Note:** Oookay. I hope this is the edited version, lol. Microsoft Word was giving me a bit of a hassle with the returned version from my beta, Inkfire. *crosses fingers hopefully* Also, I want to thank EVERYONE for their reviews. It means a lot. Enjoy this chapter... =]

**Disclaimer:** The line "_What say you, Draco? Will you babysit the cubs?" _is all JK Rowling's work. Not mine. I give her full credit. It is on page 10 of the American version of Harry Potter & the Deathly Hallows._  
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**Chapter Two: Definitely, Maybe… Not**

As usual, the classes were quite boring. The teachers went on and on and then promptly assigned massive loads of homework. Draco attempted to concentrate (even though he did well without paying much attention), but he found himself letting his mind wander. He thought of the summer: his failed mission, his father returning home, his manor now being used as headquarters, the Dark Lord's taunting tone...

"_What say you, Draco? Will you babysit the cubs?"_

The shame, the humiliation, the devotion… The people, the torture, the murders… There was no turning back; no way out. His Mark reminded him of that each passing day. This is what he'd chosen. This would be his life. Sighing, Draco shifted in his chair, snapping out of memories he didn't wish to recall. He stared blankly at the front of the classroom, his eyes gazing steadily on Professor McGonagall. He still didn't hear a word she was saying. He tuned out everyone around him, but refused to allow his thoughts to carry him back to the summer.

Pansy was sitting beside him. She'd created both of their schedule so they would be together every single second of every single day. Except for the last class of the day. Draco had his last class free, but Pansy had to fill it with an elective. This was Draco's only solace to get through the day.

Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Pansy jotting down notes. He sighed once again and leaned back in his chair, watching her. She was pretty enough with her dark hair that came down to her shoulders. Her body was beautifully shaped, something he liked to admire. She was smart, too, but often pretended to be daft. He wasn't entirely sure why, but he assumed it had something to do with the way she was raised. Most pureblood women were stay-at-home mothers (like his own) and acted as though they didn't have anything but air between their ears (not his mother at all.) Her eyes were dark and mysterious; he loved staring into them when she was nearing her climax. It was the only time they actually seemed vulnerable to him. Her face resembled his; only it contained more petite features.

Pansy must have felt him staring at her because she looked over her shoulder. She smiled. He smiled back and reached out to gently tuck her hair behind her ear.

"Mr. Malfoy, should you like to tell the class what's so interesting about Ms. Parkinson?" Professor McGonagall's voice echoed across the stone room. Draco recoiled his hand away from his girlfriend and sat forward. He looked straight at the professor, his eyes slightly narrowed.

"I don't think that'd be appropriate conversation for the classroom, Professor," Vincent Crabbe sneered from the other side of the room.

Pansy ducked her head, but not before Draco saw the heat rise in her cheeks. The classroom had erupted into laughter. Draco found himself feeling very defensive over his girlfriend.

"You're just bitter because no girl will ever want to be with you, Crabbe," Draco spat, glaring at the young man whom he called his best friend. The class continued to laugh, the sound filling Draco's ear. Mocking.

"Enough! That's enough!" Professor McGonagall hollered. It took a few moments, but the students eventually quieted down, only giggling quietly now. McGonagall looked at Draco and Crabbe. "Detention, both of you. Tonight in my office at seven. Fifteen points for Slytherin, each, for your crude remarks."

Draco groaned and leaned back in his chair once more. He averted his gaze to Crabbe, glaring. Pansy placed a hand on his thigh. He slowly slid his gaze to her.

"It's alright, Draco," she said. "Crabbe is a pig."

He stared at her evenly. "He upset you," he stated matter-of-factly.

Pansy shrugged and returned to her class work. "It's fine," she replied. "It's nothing I'm not used to."

Draco felt like a dagger had been stabbed into his heart. Had he really never noticed the remarks that she had endured all these years? He stared at the back of her head, wondering. Maybe she was worth keeping after all.

When the break for lunch rolled around, Pansy moved away from Draco to sit with a group of her girlfriends. Apparently, Blaise Zabini and a fourth year Ravenclaw girl were caught snogging and groping in the dungeons, skipping the second class of the day.

Draco merely rolled his eyes and waved her away, happy to be free. He let out the breath he'd been holding and looked around the Great Hall. Potter and his filthy friends were gone; they weren't at school. No one was quite sure where they were or what they were up to, but Draco could only imagine that the Dark Lord was angry. In fact, he was quite sure of it. He winced at the memories, glad that he was finally at school.

"Are you okay?" a voice asked from behind him.

Draco turned to his side to see Astoria standing next to him, gripping her books to her chest. She eyed him suspiciously, biting her bottom lip. He had a flash of fantasy, her lip between his teeth, before he nodded.

"I'm fine," he said, more gruffly than he had intended. "I just… didn't sleep well last night."

_Not that I need to justify myself to you,_ he added quietly to himself.

They stared at each other for a while before Astoria gestured to the empty spot beside him. "Do you mind if I sit down?" she asked. She then tossed her head backward towards the group Pansy was in, her long curls falling over her shoulder. "I can only take so much of gossip." She smiled.

Draco continued at stare at her and then reminded himself to smile back. It was forced and he wondered if she could tell. But then he nodded and moved over just slightly. "Have a seat," he replied.

Astoria murmured a "thank you" and then sat down on the bench beside him, careful to keep the student population from seeing up her skirt. She offered Draco a nervous smile; one which he didn't return. Instead, he turned away from him and took a sip of his juice. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Astoria crack open a schoolbook and begin to read.

"You have O.W.L's this year," he said. It was more a statement than a question, but Astoria looked up and nodded anyway. "How many are you taking?"

"Seven."

Draco's eyebrows shot up. He took another sip of his juice thoughtfully. "That's not a lot," he responded.

Astoria narrowed her eyes. "How many did you take?" she inquired.

"Ten." Draco grinned. She regarded him for a moment, but then smiled softly. He wondered if she were impressed. "If you need help studying, just ask. I received all passing grades."

Astoria smiled and looked back down at her book. She flipped a page, but Draco was positive she hadn't read any of the previous one. "I can see you haven't changed at all from when we were younger," she replied tightly.

Draco was taken aback. Had he been nothing but nice to this girl? He narrowed his smoky eyes at her, mystified by her behavior. He wasn't angry (which was a surprise), but he was completely baffled. She looked up at him and he quickly closed his mouth, realizing that it was slightly agape.

"Excuse me?" he questioned.

She narrowed her eyes, her lips in a tight line. She took a deep breath. "Always so eager to help out," she stated, "so long as there's something in it for you. Personal gain. The only reason you're being nice to me is because you saw me at the party last night, found me attractive and now you want to get into my knickers." Her face flushed at her last statement. Draco wasn't sure if it was from anger or embarrassment… maybe both. He also couldn't believe that she had claimed herself to be attractive. Yes, it was certainly true, but most women Draco knew could hardly stand to be complicated in such a manner, let alone admit it out loud themselves.

"Who said anything about getting into your knickers?" he spat angrily, trying to hide his shock.

Astoria rolled her pretty eyes. "Oh, _please_," she retorted. "You're not the first guy – and you most certainly won't be the last!"

"Awful proud, aren't we?" Anger danced across her face quickly. But before she could respond, Draco continued: "I merely offered my help. I don't see what that's got to do with your knickers."

She stared at him, breathing heavily through her nose. Neither of them spoke for a while; they only stared at each other. Finally, Astoria broke the silence. "It's got everything to do with it," she said in a quiet, but defensive voice. "Sure, it starts out as studying. But then it leads to little touches, which lead to small kisses and that leads to snogging; which then leads to bigger touches and then… before I know it, I'm pregnant at seventeen!" The last bit came out in a rush and Draco smirked.

"I have a girlfriend," he reminded her.

"Yes. He does," a stiff voice came from behind them.

Both fair-haired students turned to see Pansy standing behind them. She looked grim and she shot Astoria a dirty look. The younger girl turned around, blushing, and buried her nose into her book. Pansy turned her attention to Draco.

"Come on, Draco," she ordered. "It's time we left."

He hated being bossed around. He hated being bossed around by any woman other than his mother. He hated being bossed around by his girlfriend. But, he let her do it. He glanced at Astoria one last time and then stood up, collecting his own books.

"My offer still stands," he told her as he moved to stand by Pansy's side. Astoria nodded, but refused to look up from her book. Pansy reached down to grab Draco's hand and laced her fingers through his. Then they set off out of the Great Hall.

"What offer?" she asked in a small voice as they left the large dining hall, though Draco was sure she'd heard the entire conversation.

Draco glanced at her. "I offered to help her study for her O.W.L's," he stated.

Pansy nodded. They turned in the direction of their next class. "She's right you know," she said softly. "Studying does lead to pregnancy." She looked up at her boyfriend. Her brown eyes almost looked hopeful.

Draco bent down to kiss her gently. "Then I guess it's good I've never offered to help you study," he replied in a low voice. She looked away. He thought he heard her sigh.

That night, he sent an owl to his Aunt Bellatrix, asking her to send him some more condoms. Pansy usually cast an anti-conception spell on herself before their intercourse (in addition to taking a daily potion to prevent pregnancy), but her behavior this afternoon worried him.

Maybe, after all, she wasn't worth keeping.


	3. Trials

**Author's Note:** Sorry for the delay in the update! This story seems to be giving me grief, but I've finally given some ideas, so hopefully this will FINALLY get rolling! =D Thank you to EVERYONE who has reviewed and, as always, a special thanks goes out to Az (Inkfire) for being my beta. =]

Enjoy! =D

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**Chapter Three: Trials**

The following week, Draco found himself in the library. He was alone, his books and pieces of parchment spread out across the large oak table. His quill was resting on the table next to his bottle of ink. He was leaning back in his chair, staring at the amount of work before him. Sighing, he looked up at the clock. It was nearly seven in the evening. He'd been working on his homework for nearly three hours now and the pile only seemed to have grown.

His stomach growled. He hadn't eaten since lunch, but he didn't dare take a break. If he stopped working now, then he knew that he'd never get back into the right state of mind to actually finish the job. It wasn't that everything was due tomorrow. Only some were due the following day; other weren't due until the end of the week. One paper wasn't due until Monday of the following week. The problem was that, even if a professor already had an assignment due a few days from now, they wouldn't stop assigning homework.

"Seventh year," Professor McGonagall had said earlier that day when the class groaned at another essay she'd assigned. She was indicating that this was their biggest year yet. Draco rolled his eyes. With another sigh, he leaned forward and grabbed his quill. He dipped it in the ink and began to work once more on the assignment in front of him.

He was writing along with little problems when he heard a burst of laughter. He looked up to see a small handful of girls smiling and laughing as they pushed their chairs in and collected their books. When the crowd thinned out, Draco's eyes landed upon Astoria. She spotted him and smiled softly. He returned her smile, but then went back to his work. A few seconds later, he felt a presence. He looked up into the clear, blue eyes of Astoria.

"Can I help you with anything?" he asked, leaning back in his chair.

She looked down at his homework and books sprawled out. "I was wondering if you wanted to get some dinner," she suggested. "You've been in here for quite a while now. You must be starving."

Draco smirked. "That's something my mother would say," he noted.

Astoria stared down at him, expressionless. She blinked. "Why do you study alone?" she asked suddenly.

At this, Draco laughed. He saw a small smile tug at the corners of Astoria's mouth. "Someone once told me that studying with someone, a female partner in particular, can result in an unwanted pregnancy," he surmised.

Astoria bit her bottom lip, but was unable to hold back her grin. She rolled her eyes. "I never said _unwanted_ pregnancy, Malfoy," she corrected. Her eyes scanned the table before, taking in the scene of paperwork. Then she gazed steadily at him, seemingly un-phased by the amount of work in front of Draco. She bit her bottom lip again, but it seemed more so in hesitation than anything else. "Are we going to dinner or not? I'm _famished_."

They arrived in the Great Hall a few minutes later. The dining hall was almost deserted, minus a few first-year Gryffindors and a Ravenclaw couple that had their heads bent together, snogging. No professors were seated at their head table. The hall closed at eight; it was almost closing time.

"Are your classes going well?" Draco asked as they sat down. He glanced at Astoria, not sure what to say and feeling awkward.

She bobbed her head, her curls bouncing. "Very well," she said. She began to fill her plate up with food. "There's a lot of work, but I expected it. It's not _so_ bad. And your classes; how are they going so far?"

Draco shrugged. He, too, began to place some food on his dinner plate. "They're alright," he replied. "I think I've got more work this year than all of the other years combined." He looked up at Astoria; she was chewing a piece of fruit thoughtfully. (The only food that remained on the table was fruit, an assortment of nuts, biscuits, potatoes, pudding and something Draco thought might be bean soup.)

"Daphne said the same thing," she told him. "How many classes are you taking?"

He thought back to his class schedule. "Just the main seven," he admitted. "I'm trying to take it a little easy this year. Though I can't say my father was too pleased about it."

Astoria smiled and nodded. "I understand," she replied. "I took an extra elective my third and fourth year so I could solely concentrate on the main classes this year, for my O.W.L's. My father… he was _furious_ when he found out."

"My father wasn't furious," Draco said, "just a little disappointed, I think. But my mother managed to convince him that it was fine – probably the right thing to do this year."

Again, the girl next to him nodded. She ate some more fruit and he imagined, briefly, what sharing a romantic evening with her would be like, strawberries and whipped cream aplenty. He wanted to taste the fruit on her lips, her perfect lips. He wondered if she'd ever been kissed before.

"Draco Malfoy," a voice said, calling him back to reality.

Draco looked across the table to see Alecto Carrow, a fellow Death Eater and professor of Muggle Studies, standing at the Slytherin table, staring down at him. Astoria was looking down at her plate of food, her breathing shallow. Draco subconsciously scooted closer to Astoria, if only to give her reassurance.

"Yes… Professor?" Draco finally said, deciding that it would look better to the student body if he called her "professor" instead of her name.

Alecto smirked. Draco narrowed his eyes. "Meet me in my office before classes begin tomorrow. I need to discuss something with you," she told him. Then she glanced at the watch on his wrist. "The Great Hall is closing. You two should head down to the Slytherin dorms now." With a curt nod, she walked away swiftly.

Draco turned immediately to Astoria, who was still staring at her plate of uneaten food. "Are you okay?" he asked, gently reaching out to touch her shoulder.

Quickly, the blonde looked up and forced a smile. She nodded. "I'm fine." She stood up abruptly. "Come on; you heard what she said. We should head back to the common room."

**... - ... - ... - ... - ...**

"I love you," Pansy murmured into the darkness. She brushed her lips against his and snaked her arms around his neck, pulling him close.

Draco worked his mouth against Pansy's, his eyes closed. He slipped his hands under her shirt to rest on her hips. His thumbs gently moved in small circles on her soft skin. He could feel the goose bumps that erupted on her body as a result and she gently pushed her pelvis into his. Pansy broke the kiss on their lips, but traveled across his strong jaw line and down his neck. He craned his neck to the side and his hand slowly moved up her body. Right before he reached her breasts, before he could massage her brown nipples between his thumb and index finger, Pansy pulled back.

"I'm not in the mood tonight," she told him. He removed his hands instantly from her body, almost grateful with her decision. Though he suspected it had something to do with the fact that Draco and Astoria had stumbled into the common room together. Pansy had seen it and become very jealous and cold with him.

"That's fine," he said, but the look of disappointment that quickly flashed across her face caused him to rethink his decision. "Do you not feel well?" Why were girls so difficult at times? He wondered if his mother ever acted this way, but the thought of his parents' lovemaking caused him to shiver, despite the fact that he sometimes heard it.  
Pansy shrugged and rolled away from him. "I think it's just a stomach bug," she said softly.

"Don't give it to me." Pansy shot him a dark look and Draco sighed inwardly. He moved closer to her and wrapped his arm around her stomach. He buried his face into her neck and gently kissed it. "I love you, Pansy." It took her a moment, but she eventually turned around in his strong arms and snuggled against him. He kissed the top of her head and they slowly drifted to sleep.

**... - ... - ... - ... - ...**

The next morning, Draco woke up early, dressed quickly and then headed to Alecto Carrow's office. Pansy had asked to go with him (she longed to be a Death Eater, but her parents forbade it and threatened to disown her if she ever did take a Dark Mark), but he denied her request.

Draco walked into the Muggle Studies classroom (a class he had never taken) and headed to the door on the opposite side of the room. He knocked, heard Alecto call out to him and then opened the door.

"Ah, Draco Malfoy," Alecto said. "I was wondering when you were going to get here. Just like your father, strutting in late."

Draco paused. "Ma'am, excuse me, but you never told me an exact time to meet you," he said in the most even tone he could muster. "And if you're going to insult my family, then I'm just going to leave."

Alecto's laughing shriek pierced his ears. He stared at her, unafraid. "_Leave_? You're just going to _leave_?" She continued to laugh, her head thrown back, her round belly jiggling. Draco looked her over, detest written across his face. She began to compose herself. "Oh, Draco, I didn't realize you could be funny."

She reminded him of his Auntie Bella, the way she liked to tease anyone and everyone. He glared at her and balled his hands into fists. "Is this why you've called me here?" he asked through gritted teeth. His family had been at the mercy of the Dark Lord and the other Death Eater since the beginning of summer. The Malfoys were no longer thought of as dedicated followers – nor were the Lestranges (the family his Auntie Bella had married into) – after the failure at the Ministry last summer that had gotten his father, Uncle Rodolphus and his uncle's brother (and other Death Eaters) thrown into prison.

Alecto gave him a smile that he supposed was meant to be pleasant. "Quite the contrary," she said. She gestured to a seat in front of her desk. "Though it is quite fun, isn't it?" Draco stared at her coldly and took a seat in the chair. She rolled her eyes. "Maybe I should grab a sweater," she said thoughtfully, staring hard into his eyes. She rubbed her arms, pretending to be chilly.

_Maybe you should hang yourself with it,_ Draco thought. He remained silent, though, working his jaw.

Finally, Alecto sighed. "I've received word from the Dark Lord," she explained to Draco, pulling out a letter. "He's already spoken to Severus. I will be in charge of all detentions. You, Crabbe and Goyle will perform the Cruciatus curse on any student who receives detention. Anyone you recruit to help you, their families will be spared." She looked up from the letter. Her smile was wicked.

"Crabbe and Goyle," Draco echoed, his eyes narrowing.

Alecto nodded. "It's part of their mission to prove themselves to the Dark Lord," she stated. "Let's hope they do better than you."

Her words cut right through him; they gutted him. He stared hard at her, his hatred growing. His breathing became shallow; pitiful, they were. Poking fun at their kind. It was disgusting. To laugh and mock Fenrir Greyback was a different matter; he was a halfbreed. But for the Carrows to mock the Malfoys…

Draco shook his head as he walked from her office, seething. When he arrived back to the Slytherin common room (which was vacant), he sat down in one of the leather couches. He buried his face into his hands. He could almost feel the tears coming on, but he wouldn't allow himself to cry. Little girls and little boys cried. Women cried. He was none of those things. He was a man.

He was a _man_.

He _was_ a man.

_He was a man._

He turned and punched the back of the couch.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Just to touch up on the Muggle Studies class... I'm not sure if that was a mandatory class at any point in time before this. If it was, sorry for the mix up. But, I do have plans regarding that class as well.

Also, reviews = love. =] (I'm pathetic, I know.)


	4. Errors

**Author's Note:** Okay, guys, here is the next update! First, I want to give a big "thank you" to everyone who keeps reviewing, alerting the story and adds it to their fav's. It means so much, you have no idea. Second, I want to apologize for the delay in updating this. I have two other stories I'm working on at the moment, which are slightly more important, but also I'm back in school this semester, so it's hard to juggle all of the schoolwork and then work on a story that fights with me constantly. x_x

But thank you all, again, for sticking through with me! *squishes*

This chapter moves pretty quickly and it breaks up in several spots. I need to get this story moving.

One last shout-out to Az (Inkfire) for being my beta. It means so much that she's doing this for me. =D

* * *

**Chapter Four: Errors**

First, she began to rub her leg against his. Then, her index and middle fingers crawled up his arm (which caused him to shiver.) And then the fingers trailed the collar of his shirt and began to tug on it.

"Pansy," Draco warned, swatting her hand away from him. He glanced at her. "I'm trying to work."

Pansy pulled her hand to her lap. She pouted. "You're always working," she said softly.  
"One of us has to," he replied with a roll of his eyes.

She was quiet and he looked up at her. She was glaring at him. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?" she snapped.

Draco sighed and closed his eyes for a moment. Pansy had been much moodier lately. If she wasn't angry with him, then she wanted to shag him anywhere. If she didn't want to shag him, then she wanted nothing to do with him. If he avoided her for that reason, then she grew angry. If she was angry with him and he retorted a comment, then it would make her _angrier_ and usually she'd end up in tears. It was a vicious cycle and Draco was at his wits' end. Half of the time, he was tempted to use the Cruciatus curse on her just to shut her up. The other half, he was tempted to break up with her. Her moods gave him headaches most days, but he couldn't ignore the sinking feeling in his stomach that told him something was wrong with his girlfriend. He just didn't know how to approach her about it.

"Pansy," Draco said gently, mustering his most even tone. He turned to look at her. "All it means is that I haven't seen you do much of your schoolwork. Take it as a subtle hint to get to work. This year is important."

She narrowed her eyes. Then her eyes went wide and tears began to fall. _Shit._ "You're calling me daft!" she shrieked, jumping up from the couch. The other students in the common room looked over at them. "Is that why you've become so mean to me? You think I'm not smart enough for you!" She looked as though she wanted to say more, but then she turned and ran from the room.

Draco watched her leave and let out his breath. He _did_ feel bad, but she was just so emotional. Each time he tried to venture in, she pushed him away and somehow it was he who was at fault. Shaking his head, Draco tried to concentrate on his work once again.  
"Hey," a happy voice said above him.

Draco looked up, ready to roll his eyes and groan, but saw Astoria standing before him. He quickly turned his glare into a smile. "Hey," he replied casually. "Can I help you with anything?"

Astoria shook her head. "Nothing in particular," she responded. "I just wanted to say 'hello'. So… hello." She blushed slightly and smiled again.

Draco chuckled. "Hi," he said. Then he looked back down at his schoolwork. He was only working on it for a minute or so when he still felt a presence around him. He looked back up. Astoria was still standing there. He studied her; she was chewing her lip and rubbing that stupid stone between her fingers. She was looking across the room, but then looked down at him and blushed. "Are you sure there's nothing I can help you with?"

Astoria took a deep breath and then sat down beside him. She sat so close that her arm brushed against his. "It's just… I don't _understand_ it."

Carefully, Draco closed his book and turned to face her. "You don't understand what?"  
The blonde-haired girl chewed her lip. The stone she still rubbed between her fingers.

"Why you stay," she finally blurted out, her face flushing a deep red. "With _her_. She seems more trouble than it's worth."

Draco nearly laughed. While he _should_ be upset and while he _should_ be defending his girlfriend, he wasn't. Because Astoria was absolutely correct: Pansy _was_ more trouble than she was worth. But Draco sometimes found that enticing… enthralling. (Though sometimes he wished she acted like a proper pureblood girlfriend or wife should act.)  
So he smiled at Astoria and chuckled again. "Your guess is just as good as mine," he replied. Astoria gave him a feeble smile and a small nod.

"I'm sorry," she said. "That was very rude of me to ask. I just… it irks me when I see girls treat their boyfriends poorly for no apparent reason."

At this, Draco laughed loudly. Astoria blushed again. "You women can be so confusing, you know that?" She forced a smile and rubbed the stone. When Draco composed himself, he looked down at the stone between her fingers. "What is that?"

"A worry stone," she said simply.

He met her gaze. "Does it help?" he asked.

She offered him the stone. "Try it."

**oooOOOooo**

At first, Draco didn't think much of the stone. He thought it was just something to laugh at. After all, all it was was a stone with two impressions on either side of it to rub your fingers. Nothing special; nothing that really took your worries away.

But when he woke up in the middle of the night because he hadn't seen Pansy since their outburst, it was the first thing he grabbed. He paced behind his curtains, rubbing the stone between his own two fingers. Eventually, after about an hour of this repetition, he did in fact feel a little bit better. But he couldn't sleep without knowing whether Pansy was alright. He marched down to her dorm.

"Pansy," Draco whispered into the darkness, kneeling before her bed. He reached out to gently shake her shoulders. "_Pansy."_

Her eyes popped open and it took a moment, but she narrowed her eyes and glared at him. "What?" she snapped.

He didn't let her sharp words cut him. "I needed to know you were okay," he replied desperately.

"Guilty conscious?" she spat at him.

He was taken aback. What was she talking about? He stared at her. "Pansy, I lo—"

"Go away, Draco!" Pansy hissed. She turned over to her other side.

"Pansy—"

"Please go." He thought it sounded as though she were crying.

He sauntered back to his bed, the stone between his fingers. His heart was racing and his breathing was shallow. He'd give anything to get Pansy back in his bed, so he could hold onto her throughout the night and know that she was okay. His fingers began to hurt; they were hot and they burned. He glared down at the stone, his worries still present with him. He raised his arm and threw the stone at the wall above his bed. It snapped in half.  
Draco groaned.

**oooOOOooo**

She was curled up in an overstuffed chair at the back of the library. Even from across the room, Draco could tell that she had shaved her legs that morning; they looked glossy and smooth. She had slipped her shoes off. She was holding a book and her one hand was cupped around her toes, no doubt to keep them warm, even though she wore socks. Her blonde curls fell over her shoulders and the sun hit illuminated the natural highlights.  
Draco strode over to her purposefully. He stood above her, refusing to announce his presence. She looked up shortly after he had arrived and gasped lightly.

Draco held out his hand, palm open. In it lay the broken worry stone. He could have fixed it if he'd wanted to, but he hadn't felt like it. Astoria looked at the stone and then met his gaze. "Take it back," Draco demanded sourly. "It didn't work."

He thought he saw the beginning of a smirk, but the younger girl quickly hid it. She reached up and snatched the stone away. "You could have repaired it," she said quietly, staring down at the broken light green stone.

"Are you inapt of magic?" Draco spat.

She looked up sharply, her eyes full of anger. "Are you?" she snapped back.

Draco took a deep breath. He could cuss her out, he could scream at her, he could torture her. But there would be no sense in that. It was himself he was angry with; there was no denying it. They continued to stare at each other before Draco finally turned and walked away. He stopped at the library door to glance at her. She was already curled back up on the couch, nose buried in her book.

He wondered what it would be like to escape into another world so easily.

**oooOOOooo**

It had been three days. Three days since Pansy had last spoken to him… since she had last _looked_ at him. He didn't know whether or not they were broken up. None of her friends spoke to him, so he had to observe. He observed instead of studying for the Astronomy exam. He observed instead of eating. Then he went over his observations in his mind while he lay in bed at night, trying to sleep.

Pansy didn't seem to be upset. In fact, she was very quiet and subdued. She wasn't chasing after any other guy – at least any that Draco could see. She stayed close with her friends and they were constantly whispering. But never once did they look at Draco or speak to him or write to him. He never even saw Pansy cry.

By the fourth day, Draco was exhausted. He finally began to concentrate on his schoolwork again. He crammed for his Astronomy exam and read ahead in Potions. He began to eat and sleep, slowly beginning to accept that Pansy was done with him. She was through; he had to accept it. There would be other girls.

Astoria hadn't spoken to him either since he rudely interrupted her in the library. He had seen her looking at him, but every time he looked her way, she'd quickly find something else or someone else to stare at. But he always noticed the blush that crept onto her face. She had repaired the worry stone – or so Draco thought until he realized that the one she was rubbing now was a blue marble. He wondered how many worry stones she had.  
On the fifth day, Alecto called Draco into her office after school. When he arrived, Crabbe and Goyle were already sitting there.

Alecto was seated behind her desk. She raised her eyebrow. _She did not intimidate him._

"Late again, Mr. Malfoy," Alecto said and Crabbe snorted in laughter.

Draco shot him a dirty look and the other boy quickly composed himself and looked down at the floor. Draco smirked and turned his attention to Alecto. "What did you need from me?" he asked.

Alecto grinned wickedly. "Detention," she said.

Draco blinked. What had he done to get detention? "Excuse me?" he asked.

"Scared, Draco?" she teased, standing up. "Crabbe and Goyle are more than willing." He still stared at her, slightly confused. She immediately picked up on it and laughed. "Don't tell me you've forgotten! You have, haven't you?" She erupted into loud laughter and Draco couldn't help the glare that appeared on his face.

Goyle stood up and walked over to Draco. "Our assignment from the Dark Lord," he whispered. "Anyone who gets detention must have the Cruciatus curse performed on them."

How could he have forgotten? There was more out there than schoolwork and girls, Draco reminded himself. He nodded his thanks to Goyle and waited for Alecto to stop her ridiculous cackling before he spoke to her.

"Are you done then?" he asked her.

She raised her eyebrows at him again and Draco wondered if she'd perform the Cruciatus curse on him. But she wouldn't dare; he knew that. His family's prestige might have slipped in the rankings to the Dark Lord, but he knew that his Aunt Bellatrix would cause havoc if she heard about it. (This isn't to say that Draco wouldn't plan his own revenge.)

"Come along then, _boys_," she said as she brushed by Draco and Goyle, walking purposefully out of her office.

Draco exchanged looks with Goyle. Crabbe pushed past them to be the first out of the office behind Alecto. He shot Draco a dark look. Draco looked over at Goyle as they followed behind the other two, some distance away.

"What's his deal?" he asked Goyle in a lowered tone.

Goyle shrugged. "I dunno," he replied. "He's had a bug up his ass since summer."

Draco snorted and shook his head. "Millicent must have gotten up off of her knees," he joked and Goyle laughed.

Detention was held in the dungeons, Alecto explained to the three young men as she led the way. The cries and pleas of the students would be muffled, Draco knew, but he wondered why they just didn't place a silencing charm around Alecto's office, or the classroom that she taught in. He decided, however, to leave it alone and get through the afternoon the best he could.

There were three students in the room. There were two sixth year boys, one from Hufflepuff and one from Ravenclaw. Draco scarcely recognized them, but he knew that the pair often tried to act like Fred and George Weasley. He stared at them for a moment; they seemed unsure of themselves. The last person was a first year girl from Slytherin. She had long, light brown hair and pale blue eyes. She was scared and Draco swallowed as he stared at her.

Alecto came up beside him. "She's yours," she said.

Draco looked at her sharply. She knew… Alecto knew that he was scared; just as scared as this little girl. Innocent, he knew. He had seen her giggling and gossiping with her friends in a corner of the Slytherin common room. There was nothing that this little girl could do that was wrong.

"What's her crime?" Draco asked.

"Pardon?"

"Why did she get detention?" he rephrased.

Alecto grinned wickedly. "She was late to class."

It wasn't long before Crabbe and Goyle had started. The young girl in front of Draco stood there, shaking, her eyes wide. She watched the two other boys as they were tortured, and then she turned back to Draco. She was crying and he couldn't do it. He couldn't do it. She was so young… and innocent… she was harmless.

Alecto was a terrible person.

Draco swallowed. He should just walk out of the room… suffer the consequences. That was being a man. Not this; none of this! His mother would murder him herself if she found out. But then he saw the liquid running down the girl's leg and the stench of urine filled his nostrils. Alecto saw, too, and she screamed, "NOW!"

So Draco pointed his wand at the young girl and cried, "_Crucio!"_

**oooOOOooo**

The tears had been shed; he couldn't cry anymore.

Draco took a deep breath and leaned back again the tub. He had been in here for over an hour now; he had come here directly after detention had ended and the young girl had run off. He felt like a terrible person; someone that deserved to be pushed down the social ranking scale.

But he wouldn't admit it out loud; only in his head and even that sometimes felt wrong. If anyone could read his mind (_the Dark Lord, Auntie Bella_), he wouldn't live to see his next birthday.

_Push the thoughts down… push them far down._

_Choke on them as they go down._

_Choke, choke, choke._

_Don't ever let them resurface._

_Keep them stuffed deep down, out of sight._

Eventually, Draco found the strength to climb out of the tub and get dressed. He walked back to the Slytherin common room. Most students were down at the dining hall. Draco wasn't hungry; he didn't think he'd ever be hungry again. He hurried to his dorm, closed the curtains around his bed and collapsed.

He fell asleep at some point and then awoke during the middle of the night. He crept down the common room. It was empty. He plopped down in one of the chairs and dropped his head in his hands. He stayed like that for a while, feeling completely dead inside, but not allowing himself to recall why.

"Draco?" a soft voice called out to him. He looked up. Astoria was standing on the other side of the common room, eyeing him. He remained silent and she took a step toward him. "Are you alright?"

Draco thought about her question for a moment. Of course he wasn't – and he knew that she could see that. She wasn't daft. But he could never admit to her what he'd done. He couldn't admit it to anyone.

"I'm fine," he settled on. It wasn't a complete lie; he _was_ fine. He _had_ to be fine.

Astoria nodded slowly. "Well, I'm here if you need to talk," she said awkwardly and then took a step toward the common room door.

"Where are you going?" he asked. He hoped she would say that she was escaping, leaving the school behind, and he was more than welcome to come. He imagined himself taking off with her, not leaving any trace of their whereabouts. He would leave a note:

"_Dear Lucius and Narcissa,_

_I'm sorry, but I just couldn't stay!_

_Love always,_

_Draco"_

Maybe they would elope, settle down and start their own family… a family with no history, just a future. He focused back to reality; Astoria didn't have any bags in her hands.

"I need to use the loo," she said in a small voice.

"Oh," he replied, feeling just a small amount of heat rise in his cheeks.

Astoria hurried to the door and then turned around. She frowned. "You should get come rest. You don't look well." Then she opened the door and quickly disappeared. Draco yawned and decided to take her advice after all. He made the way back to his bed and fell asleep.

**oooOOOooo**

On the sixth day, Draco was beginning to feel better about his break-up with Pansy. He managed to eat a small breakfast and concentrate during the morning with little to no problems. He was beginning to feel like himself again. He was on his way to lunch when he heard someone shouting for him. He knew who it was… but still, he hoped that when he turned around, he would see blonde hair instead of brown.

"_Draco!"_ Pansy shouted one last time.

Draco gritted his teeth and turned around slowly. He had been doing so well, too. "Yes?" he asked loudly as Pansy continued to walk up to him. She stopped in front of him. She looked serious.

"We need to talk," she said. She reached down and grabbed his hand. "Come with me." Pansy led him to an abandoned classroom. She closed the door and walked in further, to be sure that no one could hear what she was about to say. She turned to Draco, who looked a little apprehensive.

"What it is?" he snapped irritably.

Pansy fiddled with her hands in front of her. "I'm pregnant," she blurted.

And Draco's world, once again, came to a crashing halt.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Lemme know what you think! More twists are bound to come. ;] Please review! x3


	5. A Special Visitor

**Author's Note:** Thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter and to everyone who is sticking by this story. Also, another big thanks to Az (Inkfire) for being my beta! Enjoy! And please let me know how you feel about the chapter/story in a review... =]

* * *

**Chapter Five: A Special Visitor**

"Draco? Did you hear me? I said I'm—"

Draco held up his hand, silencing Pansy instantly. "I know what you said," he said quietly, his eyes falling to the ground. He had to think about this. He'd heard what Pansy had said, but he needed to think – he needed to breathe. This couldn't be happening; this couldn't be _real_. Pansy couldn't possibly be pregnant – they'd used every precaution necessary! How could this have happened?

Draco looked up to meet Pansy's gaze. She was gnawing on her bottom lip, but stopped when he looked at her. "Is it mine?" he blurted.

Pansy's brows fused together and her look turned from one of nervousness to one of anger. "Of course it's yours, you twat!" she spat. "_I'm_ not the one with a wandering eye."

Draco scoffed and rolled his eyes. He stepped back from her. "Well, you could have been whoring yourself this past week, with the way you've been avoiding me," he shot back. He didn't have to take her abuse. He could just walk away from her.

But he knew, deep down, that he never would. He might be an asshole at times, but he was not irresponsible. (Except in this case; but he would never just leave Pansy to care for his child by herself, especially if it were an heir.)

"Merlin! You're such a… a… a bastard sometimes!" Pansy screeched. Draco could see the tears glistening in her eyes. "I love you, for some unknown reason! You're so mean to me, but I always stick by you! I wouldn't sleep with another guy; you should know that!" Then she buried her face in her hands and her shoulders shook with sobs.

Draco almost walked away. He almost took the chance to run, run far away from this situation, but he couldn't hurt Pansy anymore. After all, he decided, she was the mother of his child, no matter how small and insignificant the thing was now. So he took a step forward (a step _up_, if you will) and gently wrapped his strong arms around his girlfriend. She buried her face (still covered by her hands) into his chest and he rubbed her back lightly and kissed the top of her head.

"I'm so scared!" she cried, her voice muffled.

Draco squeezed her and kissed her head again. "We'll get through this," he whispered to her. "Don't be scared; it'll all be okay. I'm so sorry for hurting you. I love you, Pansy. We'll figure everything out."

Pansy nodded and tried to subdue her crying. She removed her hands from her face and wrapped them tightly around Draco's body. She hiccuped and looked up at him, tears still falling from her dark eyes. "Should we get rid of it?" she asked in a small voice. "Daphne said that there's a potion that terminates the pregnancy. St. Mungo's doesn't like to give it out to students without parental consent, though, so she said that there's this black-market agency on Knockturn Alley that does it—"

"You told Daphne about this?" Draco asked, cutting her off. He stepped back from her again, letting her go. She looked lost and alone and on the verge of tears again.

"She's my best friend," Pansy choked out, as if this explained everything.

"I'm the father of that… that thing inside of you!" Draco said loudly, infuriated. He deserved to be the first to know, not Daphne Greengrass! Not to mention that Daphne and Astoria were very close, so the older sister would be sure to tell the younger one. Which would mean that Astoria would probably think ill of him, if she didn't already.

"You're lucky I told you in the first place!" Pansy yelled. "I wasn't going to – I was just going to kill it without you ever knowing – but Daphne was the one who convinced me to tell you!"

It was all too much. They had gone days without seeing each other and then, on the day Pansy decided to talk to him, it was to tell him that he was going to be a father. He could have hurt her – _really_ hurt her. She just made him so mad sometimes. But he knew he'd regret it, so he shook his head. He needed to think about all of this and decide what to do. Pansy had to listen to him; he was the man, he was the father; she couldn't just do what she wanted.

"I need to think," Draco said in an even tone. "You just… you can't just spring this on me and then spill out how to go about terminating the pregnancy. I need to _think_, Pansy. Damn it! _I need to think!_"

He reached for a desk and overturned it. Pansy jumped back. Then Draco turned away from her and hurried from the room, ignoring Pansy's pleas for him to stop.

Draco managed to find his way to the Owlery after bumping into several people and shoving them aside. He was angry, so angry, but he was also scared. Everything would be different now and his parents… oh, his parents! He could already see their disappointed faces. His father, especially, wouldn't be too thrilled. Which was why Draco would tell his mother first. She was the sensible one, the one that always figured out everyone else's problems. He needed her now.

Upon reaching the stairs to the Owlery, Draco ran up them quickly. He felt a little more relaxed when he reached the top; physical activity had a way of calming him. He stepped into the messy, circular room and grabbed a piece of paper and a quill that were always in there. He began to scribble out a letter to his mother:

_Dear Mother,_

_I miss you. Do you remember when you'd send me sweetcakes everyday of my first year?_

_Anyway, how are you doing? I suspect that now that Father has returned home, you're much more at ease than a few months ago. I hope that you're well, regardless. School is going well for me – I figured you'd be wondering. I'm on top of all of my studies and I've been receiving excellent grades._

_I'm writing to you because I have some news. But I'm afraid it's not news that I'd like to tell you through a letter. I think it would be best if we could meet in person. I'd prefer to meet you in Hogsmeade. Our first trip will be tomorrow, on Saturday. If you could possibly get away from the manor for just a few hours, I'd appreciate it. I understand that it's short notice, so you might not be able to make it. But, please, if you come, only bring yourself. I only wish to speak with you._

_Owl me back as soon as possible. Tell Father I said hello._

_I love you and miss you,  
Draco_

Then he sealed up the letter, addressed it and gave it to his bird.

**oooOOOooo**

The next few hours were torture. Draco spent the night avoiding Pansy and he began to think that she was avoiding him again, too. Every time she saw him, she'd look the other way. He was thankful that she was giving him space; all he needed was space and time. He needed to talk to his mother. They would make up a plan and then everything would be all right.

It was nearing nine when a first year student came bursting into the common room, holding a load of letters. Draco recognized her instantly; it was the girl he'd tortured yesterday. He sighed and slumped back in the couch, feelings of unworthiness washing over him again. He looked at the young girl as she handed out the letters to students. She reached one letter and paused. She looked around the room and her eyes fell on Draco. She paled and looked back down at the letter. Then she put the letter at the bottom of the pile.

It wasn't long before there were only two letters left. Draco had been watching the girl the entire time. With the second to last letter, she approached Astoria. Astoria thanked her and smiled; Draco thought her smile was gorgeous. He watched as the young student whispered something in Astoria's ear. Astoria laughed, smiled and nodded then took the last letter. The young girl ran off without another look at Draco. Astoria spotted him and made her way across the common room.

"For you," she said, holding out a letter. She sat down beside him on the couch.

"Thanks." He gave her a small nod. He looked down at the letter in his hands. He recognized his mother's handwriting instantly. But he didn't open it right away; he only stared at it. Inside was his fate.

"You okay?" Astoria asked.

Draco looked up at her and nodded. "Yeah," he said. He forced a smile. Then he ripped his letter open and looked down at it.

_Dear Draco,_

_I miss you, too, my darling boy. Of course I remember sending you all of those sweetcakes! __It seems to me that it was only__ yesterday. And I'm doing very well, thank you for asking. Your father is well also and says hello. Congratulations on your schoolwork. (I do hope you're not lying to me about your grades.)_

_This news doesn't sound good. I am already bracing myself. You've given me very short notice, but I will be able to meet you in Hogsmeade – how could I not? I will come alone. I will meet you at eleven at The Three Broomsticks; I hope that's fair enough._

_I love you very much._

_Love always,  
Mum_

Draco read the letter several times, for no particular reason, before folding it shut and stuffing it into his pocket. He felt someone staring at him and looked up into the face of Astoria. She was staring at him intently, but when their eyes met, she blushed and looked down at her lap.

"Do you have something to say?" Draco asked in a quiet voice. He tried to sound as casual as possible.

Astoria shook her head whilst avoiding Draco's gaze. "I'm going to go to bed," she said abruptly. She stood up and glanced at him. "Good night, Draco."

"Good night, Astoria."

Draco watched her walk away, his eyes lusting after her perfect figure. Her hips swung to and fro and her skirt swished with each step. Her curls bounced against her back. When she rounded the corner, Draco took the chance to outline her milky-colored legs that he longed to touch. But now it would never happen.

He sighed and looked back down at the letter in his hands. Tomorrow would be the day that marked the rest of his life. Angry with himself, Draco balled the letter up in his hands and then stood up. He saw Pansy across the room; she was looking at him. They stared at each other for some time before Draco finally spun around and stormed off to his dorm.

He was not dealing with her tonight.

**oooOOOooo**

Eleven could not come soon enough. The students arrived in Hogsmeade around ten and then most split off into groups, laughing. Draco was surprised that the school had organized an outing for the students. He knew that the Dark Lord wouldn't appear to the masses; he had sent his Death Eaters out to do that. Draco knew that some were stationed in Hogsmeade, to keep things in order. But everyone seemed oblivious to it. Draco, however, noted the two men standing against a building, arms crossed over their chests, dressed in dark clothing. He gave them a curt nod and then hurried off down the lane, wishing nothing more than to get pissed. But he knew it would be a bad idea since his mother was meeting him in an hour.

Draco had decided that he would make it easy on himself and just head to The Three Broomsticks now, but as he walked toward the popular pub, a certain shop – a shop that sold _baby_ items – distracted him. He stopped short and chewed on the inside of his cheek. He glanced up and down the lane, looking to see if anyone he knew could see him.

Luckily, most students were headed farther down the lane, huddled in groups. Draco took a deep breath and quickly crossed over to the shop. He paused outside of it, his hand on the doorknob, trying to convince himself that this was all real… it was going to happen. He took another breath and swallowed. Then he pushed the door open and, much to his horror, a bell chimed above him. He winced and thought about running off down the lane, but he stepped through the door and into the shop.

It was quiet inside; he suspected that he was the only person in the entire store. He stepped forward slowly, unsure of what direction to go in first. He looked around, taking in everything that the store had to offer: cribs, clothes, bottles, books, blankets, highchairs, strollers, carriers, toys—

"Can I help you with anything?" a voice said, causing Draco to jump.

He looked to his left to see an older women standing behind the counter. She must have been there the entire time, watching him.

"Um," he said slowly. "I… I'm not… I don't think so…" He swallowed nervously.

The women smiled. "When is the baby due?" she asked gently.

Draco stared at her. He didn't have a clue! He didn't know anything about babies or pregnancies or how to be a father! He needed more time! He was far too young; they should get rid of it. Get rid of it and move on. He couldn't be a father yet! He highly doubted Hogwarts would let Pansy breastfeed their son (or daughter) while she took her NEWTs. He almost laughed at the thought, feeling ridiculous.

He looked at the woman. She was looking at him expectantly. "I have to go," he said quickly. He turned and pushed through the door, then ran away from the horrible store. Draco went straight to The Three Broomsticks. He ordered a butterbeer and sat in a corner booth, sipping at his drink slowly. He hoped his mother would get there soon.

As he sat in the corner, students often came in and out of the quiet pub. Draco watched them all, trying to occupy himself for an hour. He wasn't sure how much time had passed, but eventually a familiar face stepped into the pub. She came in, laughing, with a few of her friends. Her curly hair was piled into a ponytail. She wore muggle jeans, a lightweight fall jacket and a scarf wrapped around her neck. Astoria and her friends walked up to the bar and ordered some drinks, then headed back to find a table once they'd been served.

Draco tried to look away, but Astoria caught his gaze. She seemed to falter in her steps and then she headed over to him. She stood awkwardly at his table, holding her butterbeer.

"All by yourself?" she asked, tilting her head slightly to the side.

Draco shook his head. "I'm actually waiting for someone," he said. "She should be here shortly."

"Oh." Astoria's face fell, but then she plastered on a smile. "Well, I'll leave you alone until then. I don't want to—"

"It's not Pansy," Draco told her. He took a sip of his drink.

Astoria stared at him, as if confused. But then she nodded slowly. "Oh, I see," she replied. She shifted her weight. "Well, um… I'll just… I should really get back to my friends…."

Draco nodded solemnly. "I understand. Have a good time. Don't get into too much trouble." He winked. Astoria laughed.

"Maybe you should take your own advice," a voice said behind Astoria.

The younger girl spun around, her eyes wide with surprise. "Mrs. Malfoy!" she exclaimed. Draco smiled and gave a small laugh.

Narcissa Malfoy smiled at the girl. "How are you, Astoria?" she asked pleasantly. Draco wasn't surprised at all that his mother knew who the girl was; she was the expert at social gatherings, who was who and the like.

Astoria nodded. "I'm very well, thank you," she replied. "And you?"

"Also well, thank you."

Astoria stood there for an awkward beat before glancing at Draco. "Well, I'll just go now," she said, a slight flush rising in her cheeks. She turned back to Draco's mother. "It was nice to see you again, Mrs. Malfoy. Have a great day!" And then she hurried off before Narcissa could reply.

Narcissa turned to face her son, her eyebrow raised in questioning. Draco grinned and shook his head. He patted the spot next to him and watched as his mother slid into the booth.

"Would you like a drink?" Draco asked her.

She eyed him. "Do you think I need one?" she asked teasingly.

Draco laughed. "Maybe when you get home." He paused and then decided to change the subject. "Did you see Dolohov and Yaxley?"

His mother nodded. "I did the best I could to hide from them," she said tensely.

"Mother," Draco said, turning to face her. "Will you get caught for being out? You shouldn't have come if that's the case!"

"Draco," Narcissa said in a strict tone. "Don't worry about me. I came because you asked me to. Don't put the subject off any longer. Why did you ask me here?"

Draco sighed and looked down at his hands. He could feel his mother's gaze burning into him. How would he tell her? He thought that it might have been easy – but he still couldn't do it. It was not going to be easy no matter what. But he needed her help; Merlin, he needed her help. He looked up at his mother, who was waiting patiently, and took a deep breath.

"Pansy is pregnant," he blurted out. "And I'm the father."


	6. Unexpected

**Author's Note:** To put it simply - for Becca. =]

Merci beaucoup, Az. And many thanks for those of you who have recently reviewed & story-alerted. I hope this keeps you happy.

* * *

**Chapter Six: Unexpected**

The silence that settled between mother and son seemed to last for an eternity. And Draco thought it had, until he looked at the clock and saw that only fifteen seconds had passed. His mother's expression hadn't changed at all; she was staring at him with piercing blue eyes. He swallowed hard and continued to wait, because that was all he could do. His mother needed time to process the information and he would willingly give it to her. Maybe, if they stayed like this until dusk, she'd finally snap back to life and forget what he'd told her. Then he would run back to the school, find Pansy and tell her that he was sorry, so sorry, but he couldn't do this, be a father and yes, they should terminate the baby and pretend it had never happened and –

"When did you find out?" Narcissa's voice broke through Draco's thoughts.

He snapped his head up to look his mother straight in the eye. _When did he find out?_ Shouldn't she be cursing him out, calling him irresponsible and saying what a mess he'd made? Shouldn't she storm off afterwards, forever disappointed in her son? No, this was his _mother_ – of course she'd react calmly and rationally. Narcissa was not Lucius and it was a wonder to Draco why she'd married him at all, how she could love him.

"Oh, um, just... just today," Draco stammered quietly, still slightly worried that his mother's hand would strike him across the cheek.

"And how long has she known?"

Draco stared, slightly amazed, at his mother. Did these questions even matter? Was this war beginning to take her mind like it had Auntie Bella? He shook his head slightly and shrugged. "I don't... she didn't tell me," he admitted.

Narcissa raised a perfectly waxed eyebrow. "Well, when was the last time the two of you had unprotected sex?" she asked.

Draco made a face. "Mother – "

"Draco, if you're old enough to _have_ sex, then surely you're old enough to talk about it," she said matter-of-factly.

"We've never had unprotected sex," he scowled, keeping his voice low. He glanced around the pub, worried that someone (_Astoria_) might overhear their conversation. "At least not that I remember." His mother let out a light laugh and Draco looked sharply at her. He rolled his eyes, suddenly in a sour mood. Was she going to mock him the entire time? Of course, when he really needed her, she decided to act like his father. "Mother, please, if you're going to laugh, then leave – "

"Oh, Draco," Narcissa sighed. She smiled apologetically at him. "I'm just trying to help you, love. I could change my mind, though, and scold you instead of offering you help."

"Help?" Draco echoed wearily.

His mother sighed irritably. "Just answer my question," she said, a little coldly.

"I'm not positive, Mum," he snapped back. He slumped back against the seat, his eyes fixated on his lap once more. "I always made sure we were protected... and Pansy told me she was on that daily potion women take to prevent pregnancies. But, even if she were off of that, I always wore a condom." It felt extremely odd to be talking to his mother about such things. He glanced up at her, but she registered no reaction. "I don't remember taking off a broken one..."

Narcissa remained quiet for a few minutes. Draco nervously glanced around the pub, his eyes finding Astoria. She was with her group of friends, laughing and whispering. They were all very animated as they spoke and Astoria's curls bounced against her back. Draco found himself smiling a bit as he watched her.

"She's a nice girl."

"What?" Draco swung his head around to look at his mother. He was slightly surprised that she'd praised Pansy. He knew that his mother wasn't very fond of Pansy.

Then, almost as if she'd read his mind, Narcissa said, "Not Pansy. Astoria Greengrass. She's a lovely girl."

Draco eyed his mother. "How does that help me?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

Narcissa laughed lightly again. Draco wasn't sure he'd heard her laugh this much since the war started. She reached for his hand and gave it a squeeze. "Oh, Draco, do you believe everything Pansy says?"

The thought had never quite occurred to Draco. He peered curiously at his mother, tossing her words around in his head. Could it be possible that Pansy was lying, that she wasn't pregnant? Or was Narcissa just planting a seed, trying to wedge her feelings of Pansy into Draco's brain? Draco wasn't sure either way. Pansy had never lied to him before – or had she? If she had, it would be too late to call her out on it now. But maybe it wasn't too late this time...

"We only started having sex again in September," Draco thought out loud, focusing his eyes on his mother. They had been active for years, yes, but he hadn't seen her at all during the summer. The first night back at school had been their first time having sex in two and a half months.

Narcissa shrugged, almost casually. "I would bring her to St. Mungo's, dear, for confirmation," she admitted. "Plus, she'll need prenatal care – it's so important, especially in the first trimester."

Draco nodded. "Thanks, Mum," he said a little sheepishly. He sort of wished he'd brought some parchment with him, to write down the entire conversation. How was he supposed to remember everything? Despite it all, Draco found himself smirking. "Can I buy you that drink now?"

_oooOOOooo_

The rest of his time in Hogsmeade, Draco could only think about his meeting with his mother. She'd promised not to mention a word of it to Lucius until the pregnancy was actually confirmed. Draco didn't fully believe her, but he'd nodded and thanked her anyway. He still wasn't sure what to believe – his mother seemed to think that Pansy was lying. But Draco thought that this was something too big to lie about. It was sort of sick, too, if Pansy was going to lie about being pregnant. What for?

He was glad to get back to the castle, exhausted from the day. He shuffled tiredly into the Great Hall, looking forward to stuffing his face with food. He plopped down at the table alone, wondering where Pansy was. She'd decided to stay at the castle that day with her friends, but he figured that she'd meet him for dinner.

Deciding not to worry about it, Draco began to pile food onto his plate. He stuffed some into his mouth, somehow all of his previous worries at ease. Looking up, Draco chewed thoroughly and glanced around the table. No one he talked to was sitting at the Slytherin table. He was reaching for his glass of pumpkin juice when a body sat down next to him.

Arching a brow, Draco turned slightly to look at the person. "Astoria," he said with a small smile. He took a sip of his pumpkin juice. "Did you enjoy the trip to Hogsmeade?"

Astoria bobbed her head. "I did. Did you?" she asked. "It looked like you were having a pretty intense conversation with your mother. I mean, not that I was watching the both of you – which, by the way, I didn't mean to scurry away so fast from her. I wanted to apologize for that." She took a deep breath at the end of her short monologue.

Draco laughed lightly. "There's no need to apologize," he assured her. He was amused that she had been watching them – despite the fact that she said she wasn't. He smirked to himself and turned back to his food.

"You didn't answer my question," Astoria said plainly.

The fork was halfway to Draco's mouth when he paused. He looked at her. Merlin, she was insistent. But it was sort of cute and definitely a different insistent than Pansy. Pansy was just downright annoying. He considered his day in Hogsmeade. He nodded. "Yeah, I had a splendid time."

Astoria smiled.

_oooOOOooo_

After dinner, Astoria and Draco walked back to the Slytherin common room together. They walked slowly and Astoria rambled on about how one of her friends – Vivienne? – fancied a sixth year Ravenclaw and he'd thrown a snowball at Vivienne, so Vivienne pretended to be hurt and the Ravenclaw bought her a chocolate frog. Draco thought it was the most stupid, pointless story, but Astoria was completely animated while she told it and she seemed to be really in love with the idea of romance. The thought pulled at Draco's own heart; no matter how much he tried to convince himself otherwise, he wasn't in love with Pansy and he would never be.

Upon reaching the common room entrance, Draco said the password and the door opened. He allowed Astoria to go in first – partly to be gentlemanly and partly so he could take a look at her arse. He could hear laughter coming from within the common room. It was loud and girly; he wondered if Pansy was apart of the crowd.

Apart of the crowd? She was the center of attention, Draco saw when he stepped into the common room. She was laughing and grinning and seemed to be drinking what looked like firewhisky. But her laughter died down as soon as Draco saw her. Her face paled and she dropped the bottle of firewhisky, letting it shatter on the floor.

"Draco," she said, shell-shocked.

Draco folded his arms over his chest. He didn't know much about pregnancy, but he'd never heard of women going out to party when they found out they were pregnant – especially teenagers.

"What's going on, Pansy?" Draco asked, glancing at her friends. Astoria had scurried away to find her sister and they were sneaking off. Draco was tempted to cast a spell on them, but he refrained.

Pansy approached him slowly. When she reached up, she gave him a weak smile.

"Surprise!" she said quietly. "I'm not pregnant."


End file.
